Saturday, January 03, 2015

Nocturnal. . .



Perhaps … this was the way he felt and he never knew the intensity of these feelings. As it goes with the human stupidity to stick with the things which give you pain. He couldn't just feel at ease. Why would he? After all, carrying restlessness in your heart is the only proof of you being alive. The five million or maybe more, inaccessible stars shone brightly above his head. But he was feeling like the pristine moon. The gloom had engulfed him in a much similar way like the clouds envelop a dreamy moon. Time had left its normal pace. It slowed down. . .

He: This is the only time I am not pretending. She respects my integrity and I am just myself with her. Why do I pretend? What’s the use of it or even if I do, she knows. What’s the worst that can happen? She gets angry. I can handle that. She can laugh at me. Granted. But what if she starts judging me like others?

She: I just feel right. He treats me just right. Is he not just like me?

He: I want keep looking at her. She has always been with me without asking for anything in return. No hassles, but with her giant smiles. I don’t know what she thinks about me. Maybe she likes me. Should I ask her? But …

She: Of course it’s not like what I think. Why would he even think about me? He is a stand -up guy. He has a life with priorities. But is he not different from others? There is an aura of pleasantness around him.

He: What am I even thinking? . . .

A sudden bump of realization provokes a plan “I will make tonight worth it. I will perhaps study or just sleep early.

11.30 PM-The night slides in. She smiles. She knows his dreams will overcome the plans of most of his days and always at night... Little did he understand that she was to be loved, not understood. Not planned, but lived. She knew he couldn't leave her. He is her’s now. Completely and voluntarily. He submits himself to her.

They talk. They talk about his broken dreams, wrong choices, people left behind, his future, her past. The changes. The times of laughter and the time of sighs. The silent exchanges and the warm touch. All the words said and a few unsaid. They talk about the fine line between love and lust. One night. . .

“Just leave” ……he screamed “you never stay”. She smiles calmly. She was the only one who stayed. He knew that, they knew that. He always used to hurt the ones he loved the most. He knew she was fading away, he knew she had to leave. But maybe that is how he loved. Maybe this is how he held on. This is the only way he knew how to let go. She leaves. She had to. He cries himself to sleep.



8.00 AM- The buzz of alarm clock. Darn it! His room still cool with her essence. Her aroma everywhere. He tries to shut the windows. He misses her aura of darkness. “You are nothing like her, she was the NIGHT. . .







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